国外也有段子手：论自黑，我只服阿森纳球迷

大家好，欢迎收看本期“国外也有段子手”！你们深爱的段子手小编@西江月-song大姨夫来了，这周的段子手就由本人来背锅……不是，本人来完成。上周，轰轰烈烈难舍难分狗血不断的转会窗大戏终于落下帷幕，转会截止日也上演了许多劲爆的压轴剧情。一起来看看歪果仁对转会和国际比赛日的吐槽吧！

【终于买人了！阿森纳签下穆斯塔菲和卢卡斯-佩雷斯】

Cheesebro69(利物浦球迷)：听到阿森纳买人，我一个利物浦球迷都松了口气……(For some reason I feel a sense of relief even though Im not an arsenal fan.)

(图)感受一下在阿森纳重聚的两位德国舞王！

DatMac10(阿森纳球迷)：你们怎么看我不管，反正我就看了30秒卢卡斯-佩雷斯的集锦，我就觉得他是世界第一！最强之人已在阵中！(I don't know about anyone else, but my 30 seconds of highlight viewing has led me to the conclusion that Lucas Perez is the greatest player to ever grace the world of football.)

nnerba(西班牙球迷)：那穆斯塔菲呢？(Mustafi?)

InTheMiddleGiroud(阿森纳球迷)：浅野拓磨世界第二，穆斯塔菲第三。剩下全队都是第四！(He's a distant third behind Asano. The rest of our team is fourth.)

(图)这真是官方图……

chivalrouscheetah(阿森纳球迷)：自黑停不下来是吧？(You couldn't resist, could you?)

Kanye_Yeezus_West(曼联球迷)：阿森纳签下一名前锋，就像是天启拥有了四骑士。(Arsenal signing a striker= 4th horseman of the apocalypse)

【官方：大卫-路易斯回归切尔西】

phz10(切尔西球迷)：666，我竟无言以对。(I have no words lol.)

(图)山寨版大卫-路易斯与威尔希尔

zeshie(尤文球迷)：这个转会窗特么的在逗我吗。(What the fuck is this transfer window.)

sololeft(尤文球迷)：很高兴这次我们也在疯狂的转会市场上掺了一脚，以前我们只能在旁边看着啊。(I'm just glad we're part of the crazyness this time. Last couple of years we're just spectators.)

zLoaded(巴萨球迷)：连每日邮报的消息都成真了，真是活久见。(When the daily mail gets it right)

mu_37(曼联球迷)：我曾经还以为这个转会截止日将会很平静……可以，这很截止日。(I actually thought it's going to be aquietdeadline day. Now it turned out to be aquitedeadline day.)

【乔-哈特租借加盟都灵】

bantertrainchooochoo (曼城球迷)：惟有泪千行。(I feel like crying.)

PaddyIsBeast(阿森纳球迷)：终于有英格兰国脚出国踢球了，希望他不是最后一个。(Finally an English NT player that plays outside of the prem, more should follow suit.)

EvenGandhiHatesLVG(切尔西球迷)：要是有人之前给我说乔哈特加盟都灵，我肯定笑他一脸。真是个诡异的转会窗……(If someone told you before the window that Joe Hart would be at Torino you'd have laughed in their face. What a weird window it has been)

devilskin(米兰球迷)：一定是莱斯特城打破了某种平衡……(I sincerely believe Leicester broke something)

【巴洛特利免签加盟尼斯】

00Laser(科特布斯球迷)：尼斯：你好，我们俱乐部想和贵队商讨一下关于巴洛特……利物浦：成交！(Nice: hello, we would like to talk to you about Mario Balot-Liverpool: deal.)

dunneetiger(切尔西球迷)：“但是我们想了解……”“成交。”“问题是我们没钱……”“机票钱自己掏就行，人带走。”(But we just wanted to kno-Done. Sir, we have no mone-Tell you what, pay the plane ticket he's yours.)

americandutchie(美国球迷)：希望他能和本-阿尔法一样涅槃重生。(Hope he does a Ben Arfa)

calmzerobeast(巴萨球迷)：意思是明年就加盟大巴黎了？(So, Balotelli to PSG summer 2017 confirmed?)

Mccree(皇马球迷)：很好，很尼斯。(Nice.)

【世预赛德国3-0大胜挪威，穆勒两射一传】

Raptor98(挪威球迷)：勒夫赛前还说“挪威是一支很不错的队伍”。说真的你们看过挪威的比赛吗？我们就是翔。(I love how Löw said "Norway is a good team" before the game. Have you seen any of our games? We're shit.)

Neonschwarz(赫塔球迷)：大胸弟别想太多，他每场比赛都这么说。(he is saying this about every opponent before the game.)

Vike92(罗森博格球迷)：比如……“圣马力诺是一支很不错的队伍”("San Marino is a good team" - Löw probably)

Totas90(阿森纳球迷)：我从没见过比这球更穆勒的进球了。(I've never seen a more Thomas-Muller-like goal in my life)

【阿根廷1-0乌拉圭，梅西“首秀”进球，迪巴拉两黄一红下场】

HurrikaneHazard(切尔西球迷)：作为一名已经退役的球员，梅西还是踢得不错的。(Not bad from a retired footballer)

(图)有梅西vs没有梅西

Chiellini(尤文球迷or球员？)：你特么在逗我吗裁判我***你把迪巴拉弄哭了那连黄牌都不是裁判你就是***你看他都哭了(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU SON OF A BITCH REF YOU MADE HIM CRY WASN'T YELLOW YOU CUNT HE'S CRYING NOW)

Spacehulk88：同样是首秀红牌下场。迪巴拉，下一个梅西？(Messi gets a red card during his international debut and Dybala does the same. Messi = Dybala confirmed)

Spacehulk88：说实话，迪巴拉还是无法和梅西相比……毕竟梅西只用了一张红牌就下场了，但是迪巴拉用了两张黄牌。(Let's all be honest. Dybala is no Messi.... All Messi needed was ONE challenge to get a red card while Dybala needed two yellows to get a red.)

Jelboo(巴萨球迷)：而且梅西只用了38秒。(Also, Messi got sent off in 38 seconds.)

也许您还喜欢: 世界杯直播 亚洲杯直播 欧洲杯直播 足球直播

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