国外也有段子手：你听说过马竞吗？

大家好，欢迎来到每周一晚的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，诸多重磅转会看点多多，百年美洲杯正式打响，而精彩四射的欧洲杯也越来越近了，这无不令球迷们大饱眼福。好了，话不多说，让我们看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧！

【加盟曼城！京多安告别多特】

Hutrn418(阿森纳球迷)：我很理解多特球迷这种心情，球队每年都要面临核心被豪门挖角的危险，俱乐部的转会投入也始终不给力，就像我厂一样。在这金元横行的时代里，教授在这如此困难的局面下，依然能够连年获得欧冠席位。放眼全欧洲，又有谁能做到呢？(It’s something we felt the same as an Arsenal fan. Key players come and go every year and the financial support is always limited. Even in this circumstance can we manage to keep in UECL, it’s a hard job for anyone else in the whole Europe. )

yurytn12(塞维利亚球迷)：恕我直言朋友，你听说过西蒙尼和他的马竞吗？(Sorry to disturb you bro but did you hear of Simone and his Atletico? )

arreyeh90(多特蒙德球迷)：好聚好散，唯有祝福。我知道，你对我横并不是真爱，但至少你没有辜负我们，为你的职业素养点赞！(Farewell and best wishes to you. I know your heart was not here but you still performed so well, thanks for your professionalism.)

Redevidheu(曼联球迷)：三年了，我一直以为京多安会加盟我抬的…(I always thought he would be at Man United for the last 3 years.)

juheah54(本菲卡球迷)：那你知道我们等你抬买盖坦都多少年了吗？(Do you know how many years have we waited for you to buy Gatan?)

【决战美利坚，百年美洲杯开幕！】

asdool12(未知主队球迷)：美国是一个举办美洲杯的好地方，这样每个国家都会感觉这是自己的主场。(The US is a special place to host a tournament because every team is a local.)

(注：此处暗指美国是移民国家，各国移民都非常多)

(图)本杰明的父亲：阿圭罗；教父：梅西；外祖父：马拉多纳...

Realuheu(西班牙球迷)：墨西哥更应该是主场啊，如果他们在德克萨斯踢球的话…(Mexico is definitely more local if they play in Texas.)

(注：德州位于美墨交界处，曾经是墨西哥领土，是个漫山遍野都是老墨的神奇地方。)

Qewertsa(纽约红牛球迷)：我的天，哥伦比亚的妹子真是太漂亮了！有人都甚至给她们钱，就只为拍张照！(God damn Colombian girls are ridiculous. Somebody is paid to get them on camera!)

Ubyrta12sos(巴萨球迷)：那可不，你也不看看我家皮主席老婆是哪儿的。(haha, did you hear of Shakira?)

(图)葡萄牙有C罗，阿根廷有梅西，伊布“有”瑞典，你的国家有谁呢？

【终有一别，二哥队草离开诺坎普】

Yornup7(阿森纳球迷)：老少爷们啊，快看好你们家的右后卫！(Clubs with a good RB watch out!)

Popkingas(巴萨球迷)：阿尔维斯和普约尔以及哈维等巴萨传奇有一点不同，那就是他并不是拉玛西亚青训出品，这也是他更具里程碑意义的地方。(The only difference between Dani and Puyi/Xavi is that he wasn't an academy player. He was every bit as important to the team and as iconic as they were.)

Sevenclubyes(巴萨球迷)：给梅西助攻最多的人走了，我好忧伤，想念你的一切，想念你的脸庞。(The highest goal Contributor to Messi is leaving. I feel sad. I will miss his cheekiness and everything.:( )

OPPO891(未知主队球迷)：我查了下数据，发现二哥给梅西的助攻数量比哈维和伊涅斯塔两人加起来都多….阿尔梅西斯组合再也看不到了…(I'll look for the stat but last I checked he has assisted Messi more times than Xavi and Iniesta combined. The Alvessi connection was no more.)

Ntusbrnbrnbrn2017(尤文球迷)：干得漂亮，我觉得我们终究会签下梅西的！(Fine, I guess we'll take Messi too.)

netmugkist(巴萨球迷)：梅西：我往哪里找，像你那么好。(Messi will find it hard to find such a RB like him.)

Gerstingson(多特蒙德球迷)：哈哈！我横刚刚把颜值担当送给拜仁，现在又来了新的小鲜肉哦。(Replaced a pretty guy with another. Job well done, Dortmund.)

qnusdlu(多特蒙德球迷)：按我横这引援的颜值要求，我觉得距离吉鲁加盟已经不远了。(Dortmund must always have the most attractive team. Giroud to Dortmund confirmed.)

(注：按照欧美妹子的审美标准，大吉鲁绝对是冠绝全欧的超级男神哦！)

naiyuet(切尔西球迷)：欢迎收看巴萨频道节目《后卫去哪儿？》(Channels for transferring of barca’s defense just begins.)

【过去的一周，你和足球有哪些趣事？】

(图)这位盲人球迷每场比赛都会亲临现场，他看不到比赛，但他会用炽热的心去聆听

Finalluetou(瑞典球迷)：昨天，我的一个哥们划着前天买的45尺长的小舟出海游玩，结果掉进了海里差点淹死，幸亏海警救援队把他捞了上来。结果今天，这哥们就屁颠屁颠地和我们一起踢了一场第六级别的联赛。(One of our midfielders nearly drowned yesterday as the 45 foot wooden boat he bought 2 days ago sank on the open sea. Got picked up by sea rescue and still playing today a 6th division match today.)

Heartforyou(皇马球迷)：昨天晚上，我和女朋友一起玩FIFA，最终以5-1获胜。我简直太生气了！当即就和她分手了，因为一定有别的男人来教了她怎么进球！(I played FIFA with my girlfriend last night and won with 5-1, I was terribly angry and broke with her immediately since there must be someone taught her to how to get a score!)

(图)一名身穿厄齐尔球衣巴勒斯坦儿童，对阻止他踢球的以色列士兵出示红牌

Italiasmars(意大利球迷)：从1998年世界杯到2016年欧洲杯，布冯已经代表意大利参加了11次国家队大赛了...(From World cup 1998 to Euro 2016, this time will be Gianluigi Buffon's 11th tournament representing Italy.)

亲爱的小伙伴们，本期“国外也有段子手”就给大家播报到这里啦。百年美洲杯已经开幕，而欧洲杯也将在下周正式打响，让我们拭目以待，期待下期更加精彩的歪果仁吐槽吧~

也许您还喜欢: 世界杯直播 亚洲杯直播 欧洲杯直播 足球直播

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