国外也有段子手：三冠王的巨轮说沉就沉！

大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，巴萨遭遇接连输球的尴尬局面，而皇马马竞则齐头并进。另外，莱斯特城终于停下了连胜的步伐，而曼城则史上第一次闯入欧冠四强。好了，话不多说，让我们看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧！

(图)三冠王的巨轮说沉就沉......

【5场4负！巴萨欧冠联赛双线失利】

ntusTheOn(马竞球迷)：当时看到欧冠抽签时，我不禁眉头一皱，心想:“我们从未赢过恩里克的球队，世上不如意事十居八九，既已如此，也是勉强不来了。”可西蒙尼却说:“我偏要勉强。”(Felt so nervous knowing we had Barca in quarterfinal, we almost lost all the matches against them after Enrique’s arrival and every one would not have any complaint if we were out. However, Simone made it.)

vosszaa(巴萨球迷)：别勉强了兄弟，要是连现在的巴萨都赢不了，西蒙尼可以回家卖红薯了。(It’s not a hard task to beat Barca now, especially for Simone.)

kaspar737(皇马球迷)：有人说，之前的国家德比是5年来最不重要的一场比赛。(Least important Clasico in the last 5 years they said.)

Yika(AC米兰球迷)：巴萨之前有39场 比赛连续不败，可最近5场却输了4场，这究竟是怎么回事！(Barça was 39 matches in a row without losing, now out of the last 5 matches they have lost 4, how could this happened!)

MaTrIx4(曼联球迷)：可能他们只是想破一个连败的纪录吧。(They want to set a new record of longest beaten streak.)

nnerba 385(阿森纳球迷)：一个月前：“巴萨谁都打不过！”一个月后：“巴萨谁都打不过！”(1 month ago: "Who can beat Barca?" Now: "Who can Barca beat?")

(图)普队的生日，让巴萨球迷分外想念的一个人

kpoolaugiboo(莱斯特城球迷)：现在看来，我们夏天和巴萨的比赛也是充满了悬念的嘛！(Leicester v. Barca in August looking more manageable now, eh?)

drewsufff (巴萨球迷)：哪有什么悬念可言？之前巴萨还能有一丝赢的机会，现在看来则是必败无疑。(Not really. Before we may have had a chance, now we're definitely losing.)

(图)如果你不能在0-2输球的时候过来支持我们，那1-2输球时也不要腆着脸过来

Myvirginit(塞维利亚球迷)：本赛季的巴萨，早就露出明显的下滑趋势了，可以说是近10年来最为艰难的一年，这几周又是状态奇差无比，MSN也跌入了谷底。然而，即使在这样的情况下，巴萨依然在西甲积分榜上领跑，即使遭遇4场比赛的进球荒，梅西在2016年的进球数依然无人能及。这并不是对巴萨的吹捧，而是对其他球队无情的讽刺。(From a long time Barça shows an obvious retrogradation this season, and it’s the worst Barça in almost 10 years. They has suffered the most disgusting few weeks and MSN are also in their bottom. However, under this condition they still in the top of La liga and Messi scores more goals than anyone in 2016 even with 4 games’ nap. It’s not a boost of them, it’s just an irony to others.)

Huenhye91(拜仁球迷)：有意思的是，最近巴萨的球迷忽然变得比以前少了很多。(It’s cute to see the number of Barca fans has dropped so quickly these days.)

Anabilegaytan(西班牙球迷)：曾见你在蓝天之上，睥睨脚下混沌纷杂；也曾见你坠落谷底，体会世间冷暖怒骂；转瞬即逝，不过十几年倾负韶华；豆蔻青衣，已是匆匆闺中待嫁；有人说，我只是迷恋你夺冠时的英勇潇洒，才会错爱对立的巴萨；其实我只是忘不了诺坎普的云和霞，那是我人生中最美的烟花。(Born in capital it’s unbelievable to be a Barca fan for so many years. Football is a fabulous thing and just a visit to Camp nou could made me so crazy for them. Maybe I’m just a fan of trophies in the beginning but from a little girl to twenties I’ve witnessed both sweet and bitter times, now I can’t make it to live without Barca.)

CaptainPol(皇马球迷)：妹子你家是在马德里吗？我关注你的ins了 :) 我也喜欢巴萨！ ( Are you living in Madrid now babe? I have already followed your ins :) FORZA BARCA!!!)

【欧冠联赛双胜利，马德里双雄齐头并进】

Realrealmadrid90(皇马球迷)：吾皇出征，寸草不生！(We are UNBEATABLE MADRID!!!)

Im2Spooky(洛杉矶银河球迷)：真是梦幻般的表现！巧合的是，当听说C罗上演帽子戏法时，我正好在听那首经典的《好日子》。(Great perform for Real! What a coincidence that I was just listening toGood Timewhen knowing Ronaldo got a hat trick.)

Qweint12(纽约红牛球迷)：Owl City的那个版本吗？他们是我的音帝哦~~~(The version of owl city? They are the king to me:)

churrosricos (皇马球迷)：男人当如纳瓦斯。(When I grow up i wanna be like keylor navas)

PenciaPemoni(马竞球迷)：在瓜迪奥拉和穆里尼奥的西甲时代，马竞被西超两强压得根本没有任何喘息之机。我一直认为，正是二人的离开，马竞才得以在乱世中异军突起。直到现在我才明白，马竞崛起的原因，不在于巴萨皇马哪位的离开，而是在于西蒙尼的到来。(When Pep and Jose were in La liga, it seemed that we couldn’t have any chances under the pressure of the two giants. I used to believe it was these two coaches’ leave that gave us the chance to rise. Now finally I come to realize that it was neither of them to make the change, it was Simone. )

(图)西蒙尼面对巴萨的17场比赛只赢了2场，但这2场都把巴萨淘汰出欧冠了...

【曼城欧冠进四强，联赛大胜争四有望】

Ezioauditore(曼城球迷)：这将会是阿坤第二次联赛进球30+，却无法染指英超最佳球员的奖项吗？下场打纽卡斯尔，联赛进球破30已经近在咫尺。(So will this be the second year in a row that Aguero wins the Golden Boot and isn't nominated for PFA player of the year? With Newcastle next, he may have 30+ goals by Tuesday night.)

(注：本赛季曼城联赛首回合对阵纽卡以6-1胜出，阿圭罗独中五元)

JohnTerrysSexTape (切尔西球迷)：这没啥可丢人的，梅西不也没得过这个奖吗？(Neither has Messi. Nothing to be ashamed of.)

(注：这个神ID的哥们是Reddit著名网红，堪称热评小王子)

phigo50(曼城球迷)：我能想到最浪漫的事，就是阿坤和梅西一起罚丢点球。(It seems not so bad for Aguero to miss a penalty compared with Messi.)

HoldItHere(阿森纳球迷)：在经历了希丁克短暂的适应期后，这个赛季最熟悉的切尔西又回来了！(We have come back after some adaption time of Hiddink.)

DanishGuy(切尔西球迷)：现在我真的希望这个赛季赶紧结束，然后全体球员集体录一个向球迷道歉的视频，而且得让威廉踢他们的屁股！(I just want this season to be over. Then I want each of the players to release a video where they apologize for the season, while Willian kicks them up the ass.)

【瓦尔蒂遭遇红牌，狐狸城终止连胜】

Forhayley (阿斯顿维拉球迷)：对现在的莱斯特城来说，没有赢球反而成了大新闻。(If there is a team can cover a headline just because they didn’t win, it must be Leicester City.)

Old_man_Trafford(曼联球迷)：我们恰好相反。(We are just the opposite.)

Lpfortney(诺丁汉森林球迷)：瓦尔蒂终究和豪门球员差距明显，这跳水根本就是不入流的水平。(Vardy still has great gap from being a player in big teams, his diving is simply like an amateur.)

亲爱的小伙伴们，本期“国外也有段子手”就给大家播报到这里啦。让我们拭目以待，期待下期更加精彩的歪果仁吐槽吧~

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