亲爱的小伙伴们，欢迎大家再次来到“国外也有段子手”栏目中。在过去的一周里，精彩的比赛真是让人应接不暇：跌宕起伏的欧冠末轮，激情四射的联赛厮杀，无疑不让球迷们大饱眼福。
然而，更令中国球迷们开心的是，我们的中超与亚冠双料冠军广州恒大淘宝队也在世俱杯的比赛中绝杀墨西哥美洲队，成功进入了世俱杯的四强。恒大如此抢眼的表现，也吸引了国外著名论坛Reddit足球版块的激烈讨论哦。好了，让我们搬好小凳，站在逼格的制高点，尽情欣赏歪果仁们的精(dou)彩(bi)点(tu)评(cao)吧！
【读秒绝杀！广州恒大晋级世俱杯四强】
VerifiedStalin(河床队球迷)：哈哈哈！墨西哥美洲队的球员们在去日本前都在讨论该如何面对巴塞罗那呢！(LOL Americanists were talking about playing Barcelona before they even got to Japan.)
Poop-Wizard(瓜达拉哈拉球迷)：我哥哥是美洲队球迷，他根本没想到主队会输给广州，所以比赛没看就直接去睡觉了。现在他还没醒呢，我该怎么告诉他这个事实…..挺急的，在线等……(My brother is an america fan but slept through a Club World Cup game with his team he probably won't care that they lost. He hasn't woke up yet. CAN'T WAIT)
Svefnpurka(巴塞罗那球迷)：能和一支来自不同国家的球队交手真是太棒啦！我们在2006年和墨西哥美洲队相遇，2009年也曾经和墨西哥亚特兰特队交过手，但这次和中国球队还是第一次，想想就有些小激动呢~(Great to face a team from a different country. Played América in 2006 and Atlante in 2009. First Chinese team now, will be interesting.)
Topaz1874(阿森纳球迷)：广州，未赢够！^_^ (诶，等等哥们，你咋直接整上中文了呢，让我咋翻译啊……)
Sholymountain(巴塞罗那球迷)：我看比赛了，下半场的广州果然惹不起。他们有着极快的速度以及精准的传球，他们充分利用了墨西哥美洲怠慢轻敌的心态，这也是给我们巴萨提了个醒啊…(I watched the game, Guangzhou looked a little scary in the second half. Very quick, incisive passing. Totally took advantage of Club América's complacence, which, as we all know, is also occasionally a weakness of Barcelona...)
Pires007(阿森纳球迷)：干得漂亮，暴力鸟，你要能来我厂该多好……(Paulinho did a good job, how I wish he could join us)
Djmooselee(托特纳姆热刺球迷)：敢抢我刺的鸟？一边凉快去。(Forget it, his ours.)
【欧冠出局联赛输，曼联遭遇滑铁卢】
Boxey7 (曼联球迷)：马夏尔尽力了，队友CBA。(We couldn’t ask Martial for too much…)
LordElrondd(曼联球迷)：大家不要担心，下场比赛一定会有所改观，让我们期待主场的0-0吧:) (Don't worry, we'll get you back with a cool 0-0 at home:)
omegaxL(曼联球迷)：我已将帮范师傅选好了一位出色的前锋，他最近打出了9球5助攻的好成绩，昨天还上演帽子戏法了呢！哦对了，他现在效力于勒沃库森…(I found a nice striker for LVG in January, he has got 9 goals and 5 assists recently and just played a hat trick yesterday. He is in Leverkusen now…)
SL65(多特蒙德球迷)：这个赛季伯恩茅斯一直没能两连胜，直到他们碰上了切尔西和曼联这样的软柿子。(注：切尔西上周以0-1输给伯恩茅斯。)(Bournemouth doesn't win 2 straight games all season, decides to do it against Chelsea and ManU.)
Bustedracquet(切尔西球迷)：我说什么来着，伯恩茅斯...这是强队！你看看人家范大厨不也输了么？(See, beating Bournemouth is hard! LVG also failed.)
【枪手登榜首，切赫平纪录】
Arlitoma(多伦多FC球迷)：虽说切赫平了最多零封记录，可他前面的后卫可曾经是特里、卡瓦略和卡希尔啊…(With that being said, Cech had prime Terry, Carvalho, and Cahill in front of him.)
OmNomZombie(阿森纳球迷)：呵呵，你可知道在我厂，他在身前只有钱伯斯和加里布埃尔的情况下还是能零封对手，这有多难你知道吗？(Bitch please…He did also keep a clean sheet with Chambers and Gabriel in front of him though, so I think that makes up for it.)
Nkgunner(阿森纳球迷)：厄齐尔也是棒棒哒，就算前面站着的是吉鲁，他都能刷出来这么多助攻。如果我们的亨利大帝还在的话，我真不敢想象会发生什么…(Mesut is also brilliant, he can get so many assists even with Giroud ahead. I can’t imagine how f**king amazing it if there is Henry.)
Edpunerisaiyan(曼联球迷)：如果切尔西明天击败了莱斯特城，阿森纳就真的登上榜首了…(If Chelsea beats Leicester tomorrow, Arsenal will stay in first place.)
Deadsoul(阿森纳球迷)：那就让我们祝愿切尔西快摆脱降级区吧~(Let’s pray for Chelsea to escape the relegation zone)
【踢出真爱！皇马巴萨都没赢球】
Foxinyourbox(巴塞罗那球迷)：在比赛第80分钟皇马仍然落后，此时马塞洛却主动暂停比赛以帮助对方受伤 球员及时医治，这是很多球员都无法做到的，真正的大将风范。巴萨球迷留。(Marcelo calling for assistance for Villarreal player while his team is losing in the 80th minute, most players wouldn't do that, definition of class! Respect from a Barca fan)
Fredosaur(巴塞罗那球迷)：祝贺达尼洛找到了他失散多年的兄弟马蒂厄。(Congratulations to Danilo for finding his long lost brother Mathieu…)
Cieldarko(皇家马德里球迷)：幸好巴萨没赢球，要不我那来自巴塞罗那的女朋友又得嘲笑我一星期了。(Thank god Barca didn’t win, or my Barcelona girl friend would tease me for a whole week. )
HavokD(巴塞罗那球迷)：我屮艸芔茻，看来不泡个马德里的妞我都没脸出门了！(Oh f**k, It seems I need a girl from Madrid now.)
Rojiblanc(马德里竞技球迷)：他们两家都在为对方没赢球而窃窃自喜，殊不知我大床单军团已经悄悄爬到榜首上来啦~(Real and Barca are celebrating for their competitor’s suck, but it’s us who have already topped the table.)
好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这里啦，祝大家也早日找到自己的真爱哦。让我们下周不见不散，摸摸大~
下一篇:瞄准未来，多特关注意乙新星
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